What Mallya’s team says about Mallya’s mind

By churumuri

ARVIND SWAMINATHAN writes from Madras: Of the many cheap thrills that I have been getting from the Indian Premier League since the day of the auction, nothing beats the rare window it has provided me on the minds of India’s superrich, the creme de la creme of Indian business and cinema.

Otherwise so very secretive about how they spend their crores, here they are making decisions in the full glare of competitors and throwing their cash in public. And here they are loading their shopping carts and showing how their brains tick. In most cases, most buyers have conformed to the buy-it-if-you-have-it philosophy.

But is any team owner’s choices as perplexing and mystifying as Vijay Mallya’s?

As he comes across in the media, the liquor baron is a walking, talking, shouting advertisement of the Kingfisher slogan in real life: King of good times.

Mallya doesn’t hesitate making brave at times foolish decisions, even at the risk of being proved wrong. He loves being seen with the bold and beautiful at race courses and cat walks, and he loves being the centre of attraction and being talked about. In a studio discussion, his is always the loudest voice. He spends money like beer shooting calendars every year-end. When he launches an airline, he hands out headphones and pens and other knickknacks to get passengers hooked. When he gets into Formula One racing….

In short, Mallya is loud, flashy, gaudy, adventurous, flamboyant—and extravagant. And decidedly upperclass.
In contrast, Mallya’s Bangalore IPL team is the exact opposite of his personality: better safe than sorry, colourless, lowkey and very very VFM (value for money).

Seeing dead-slow coaches like Rahul Dravid and Wasim Jaffer, Jacques Kallis and Shivnarine Chanderpaul, and ageing warhorses like Anil Kumble and Sunil Joshi in the same squad, you have to ask two questions:

One, has Mallya formed a team for a five-day Test match or a mad Twenty20 scramble?

And two, is Mallya playing it smart by playing it safe, or does he know more than other owners?

Make no mistake. This is just a commentary on the team owner’s choices, not team’s chances. Despite the stunning middleclassness about it, Bangalore could still make it; cricket is that sort of a game. It is far different on turf than on paper.

Still, you have to wonder what drove Mallya into going in for the kind of team he has “bought” after paying Rs 446 crore for the Bangalore franchise.

The buzz at the KSCA club house in Bangalore is that Dravid played a key role in the team selection. Apparently, the captain asked the owner if he wanted stars or performers. When Mallya expressed his inclination in favour of the latter, the die was cast in favour of Kallis, Jaffer, Joshi & Co.

Both Dravid and Charu Sharma, the CEO designate of the Bangalore team, have said that they badly wanted Robin Utthappa. Just Utthappa?

Look at Hyderabad with Adam Gilchrist, Andrew Symonds, Herschelle Gibbs, and Shahid Afridi in the ranks. Or look at Madras with Mahendra Singh Dhoni, Matthew Hayden, and Jacob Oram.

Has Bangalore missed a beat in going in for solidity against effervescence?

And, knowing what we do about Mallya’s personality, has he deprived himself of something to crow about at his parties?

On the other hand, they say the IPL is more than just about cricket. They say it is about building a City’s loyalty to the team, about creating buzz around the sponsor’s products, about using the stars as brand ambassadors. Etc. If so, Mallya seems to have gone in for a bunch of would-be pensioners to represent a City once known as pensioner’s paradise.

Photograph: Karnataka Photo News

Also read: CHURUMURI POLL: Twenty20 to promote 60-30?

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23 Responses to “What Mallya’s team says about Mallya’s mind”

  1. babuds Says:

    Probably he had too many at that time, real ones, not from his brewery, mebbe! OK!

  2. Alok Says:

    It will always be Mallya’s team…. what with a name like “Royal Challengers” and hardly any up and coming Bangalorean in the team.

    No offence to Dravid and Co., but I think their services would be better used in helping Karnataka win the Ranji trophy this year…

  3. Guruji Swamy Says:

    Mallya is the biggest Matlabi guy in the whole universe.

  4. Vishnu Says:

    Forget about the entertainment look at the format of IPL. In this ’son of the soil’ era, one city team’s win or loss may end up in rivalry between two cities from different states and migrants lives from respective cities will be at risk…

  5. mayura Says:

    They all look like some bollywood thugs about to rob a bank :)

  6. Anonymous Guy Says:

    Vishnu,

    “Forget about the entertainment look at the format of IPL. In this ’son of the soil’ era, one city team’s win or loss may end up in rivalry between two cities from different states and migrants lives from respective cities will be at risk…”

    So what do you suggest? That we all stop living our lives and curl up and die?

  7. Faldo Says:

    No offence but the picture does not seem like one of a professional team. More like a cleaning squad.
    The team does not have enough players suited for the IPL format. With the the ICL also not having a team for Bangalore, the picture does not seem rosy.

  8. RF Says:

    @ so who is the bar tender ??:)

  9. Anonymous Guy Says:

    Faldo,

    :)

    Mallya and Venkatesh Prasad looked dressed to kill though.

    Maybe Mallya wanted to look good in contrast!

  10. bmurali80 Says:

    pensioners, warhorses funny article :)

  11. goutam Says:

    Photo to preserve. For a change, there are No GIRLS with BIG BOOBS around him!

  12. srini Says:

    Instead we have aging cricketers with boobs?? :P

  13. MysooruBoyz Says:

    The ICL has a lot of “retired” players, the Bangalore team has a lot of “Semi-Retired” players…

    Agree with Faldo…looks like a cleaning squad

  14. Sir Vibhudi Aatmapudi Says:

    Great article!

    Mallya needs a team of quiet good boys so he can be heard loudest and longest.

    Faldo hit the hammer on the head. It’s a knockout! haha!

  15. tarlesubba Says:

    i take offense with faldo’s comment.
    here is a commissioner of moving earth and heaven to instill pride and respectability amongst the city cleaners, and yet Mysore’s own netizens undercut his work?

    if we have to be politically correct, then it be to uphold the pourakarmikas.

    dont equate them to cricketers.

  16. Faldo Says:

    TS – Did not mean to put down pourakarmikas.
    Just wanted to comment on the jaded appearance.

  17. Sir Vibhudi Aatmapudi Says:

    When I saw their fantastic, untucked T Shirts, I half-expected them to approach my table with menu cards!

  18. Deepak Says:

    Yes clearly the author has banged with his article and pronouned that this Bangalore team of Mallya has players fit for five day games.But the question to ask ourselves is , even if Mallya errs in his decisions can Rahul be so reluctant in chosing their team in such a big league,they definetely have a team plan and i am sure that they will execute it to perfection,but full marks to the author of this article and the point made about sunil joshi is correct,when people say he must be out of the ranji team how can we even think of him bowling to the legends of the game?

  19. bubbleonfire Says:

    LOL look at Mallya’s face in the picture, trying to act all tough and look at all the guys behind… I agree that the team he’s selected is completely opposite his personality. This team looks worst on paper for a T20 match and has no popular players like Dhoni, Yuvraj, Harbhajan etc.

  20. Dr Kishor Kripalani Says:

    Mallyaji is always right and has a big vision.Great to know that he still backs Sunil Joshi. What more has he to prove. Thanks Mallya for giving us Sunil back to cricket

  21. Piteel Master Says:

    Mallya may think he is upper class, but in truth he is a cheapo who just wants to sell his booze.

    Look at him standing in the middle like an arrogant dhani while his men cringe like shirking labourers behind him. If he had any class, he wouldn’t be dying to turn everything into a branding opportunity.

  22. nesta Says:

    Time will tell. Perhaps the experienceof the squad will shine through.

  23. takeitfromme Says:

    take it from me, Mallya is confirmed insane and more so is his erstwhile captain dravid.

    buddas have come to collect their pension cheques. as i write this RCB has lost its match to punjab too today and frankly not Mallya – but Dravid should be kicked behind his ass. and what does Charu sharma know of cricket to be CEO. absolutely bouncers.

    ***

    their slogan song should be ” HUM HAARENGE SHAAN SE “. the dirty Mallya should sell his franchisee to someone else and get lost himself. as for dravid, kumble,joshi,jaffer…….. throw all of them in the Indian Ocean.

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