E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: The one crore rupees that were tabled in the Lok Sabha —the sanctum sanctorum of our democracy—has naturally created tremors across the world.
“Whodunit?” is the question newspapers and magazines are asking and providing answers too. Here’s a few of them who swear by their findings.
# The New Yorker magazine which recently depicted Barack Obama in a controversial, below-the-belt cartoon, swore it was Obama: ”The guards who once fought terrorists at their gate and lost some of their colleagues could never be bought to take the notes in. But it’s a different matter with the Indian MPs. The Democrats would have never wanted this Indo-US deal which is essentially a Republican idea. They would do anything to scuttle it.”
# The Economist, which carried a feature recently that pirate-infested Indian Ocean was one of the most dangerous seas in the world, said the pirates were still no match for our MPs—offshore or in the high seas. The paper suspected China’s hand behind the spectacle. The Chinese would naturally be jealous of India’s proximity to the US through Levi‘s jeans, McDonald‘s and the day is not far when India would have US aircraft carrier Nimitz anchored at Chowpatty beach. “They wanted to kill the deal. Since commie MPs can never be bribed (according to their General Secretary Karat), they found some BJP MPs who are ever ready to be bribed and gave them the notes. The Chinese took the MPs to the bank, made them count the notes as they are not good in counting Indain rupees.”
# Pravda, which still runs both its print and dotcom versions, strongly believes that Condoleezza Rice might have had a hand in it. The paper which has alleged that George Bush and Laura Bush are ‘not in talking terms’ because of the Secretary of State, feels Rice might have influenced Dubya to drop the ‘flip flop’ Indians like a hot potato. Wrote Pravda, ”Although Bush himself gets along famously with Indian Prime Minister Manmohan Singh and Laura likes ‘Indian curry’, Rice might have had a say in this. So she would have arranged some funds through the Indo-American Society and since you can always buy MPs as vegetables in a bazaar, she might have engineered the whole thing. But to her bad luck, Indian democracy shrugged it off and just walked away. Unfortunately for Rice, her plan failed and Bush & Laura are still together.”
# The People’s Daily which is busy airing infrastructure created for Olympics feels that such shameless action could have been only planned and executed somebody within India. It condemned other newspapers for floating all kinds of theories. Wrote the daily’s Madras correspondent: “We are sure only an outsider who has become an insider would have done it. Naturally it has to be the Dalai Lama hand who knows how India and their MPs operate and can count Indian notes quite well by now.”
What about the Indian Media?
Did the newspaper nabobs, magazine moguls, and tsars and tsarinas of TV have anything to write or say about it?
Nope. Not yet.
They are happy that the stock market has logged over 800 points and are now waiting with bated breath for Sachin Tendulkar to become the highest run–getter in Test matches while waiting for the release of the release of Rajnikant’s blockbuster Kuselan!
Only Rajdeep Sardesai has a clue and he isn’t talking—yet!
Tags: Barack Obama, Churumuri, CNN-IBN, Condoleeza Rice, Dalai Lama, George W. Bush, Kuselan, Laura Bush, Levi's, Lok Sabha, Manmohan Singh, McDonald's, Parliament, People's Daily, Pravda, Rajdeep Sardesai, Rajnikant, Sachin Tendulkar