One question I’m dying to ask… M.S. Dhoni

India’s ouster from the Twenty20 World Cup in England shows that 20 winks is all it takes for a defending champion to be validating return tickets. Since there is no place for logic, form, strategy, etc, in this version of the game, any post-mortem is not only illogical but pointless.

Nevertheless, all the world loves a champion and all the attention (and anger) will now be focussed on Mahendra Singh Dhoni whose face is used by advertising geniuses to sell bikes, cars, ceiling fans, chyawanprash, hair oil, phones, shoes, soft drinks, newspapers and nuclear plants built under the Indo-US deal. (OK, not the last one.)

What is the one question you are dying to ask Kaptaan Kool?

Keep your queries short of length, aim them at the head, neck and chest, and hurl them at over 140 kmph.

Also read: Prem Panicker on the defeat and after

Mysore Scandal Soap: Why Dhoni doesn’t wash

If Aishwarya Rai loves the state of her origin…

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34 Responses to “One question I’m dying to ask… M.S. Dhoni”

  1. Sidhartha Thakur Says:

    Why do you think you were made the Captain in the first place?

  2. kingkhan Says:

    Give the guy a break fellows.

    He has put his soul behind this Indian team. There are off days, and it was just one of them.

    Just think of the number of wins and trophies he has won for India.

  3. vikschshkr Says:

    What should be done about the mainstream (sensationalism whoring) Indian Media that it understands its responsibilities (and limits) and not heckle the team so bloody much that the whole focus moves away from the competition.

    Just see how the English media treated its team during the competition (with kid gloves – in spite of losses to Netherlands) and how our horrible Indian Media that went after MS Dhoni – because he didn’t pander to their stupid demands and also looking for a controversy with regards to Sehwag when there wasn’t one.

  4. Faiq Says:

    Are your friends on Facebook poking you too much?

  5. vinay Says:

    BY the rate at which you are greying, when will u start endorsing a Hair Dye product

  6. Goldstar Says:

    Was your face used to sell the BJP also ??

  7. Mohan Says:

    Thanks for being there to take questions, but I don’t want to ask you any question and waste my time. Please go and attend the ad shoot session that is awaiting for you.

  8. Ajay Says:

    How did you forget your six-hitting skills man? You established your place in the team as a hard-hitting wicket keeper. Don’t worry, you can make amends by winning the 2011 WC – the ULTIMATE! You can win that battle like Arjuna with Krishna (Sachin) riding your chariot!

  9. KS Gopal Says:

    Have you forgotten that even little Ireland made correct bowling changes unlike you who didnt continue with R.sharma[[30vers and 13 runs at that time] but persisted in wayward bowling of another sharma,ishant,who conceded many boundaries.why?

  10. InstantMusing Says:

    Why Ravindra Jadeja was sent to bat before Yuvraj?

  11. Janasamanya Says:

    Thank you Indian team. I am most happy that we lost. Just imagine, if we had won the trophy what would have happened on their return. Every player would have become a billionaire (if not already some of them are), another bout of modelling of every item available on the earth, in turn swollen heads, some more scandals of association with film actresses, etc. etc. etc. Really Thank God, we lost. Keep it up till the next One Day World Championship.

  12. Aatmasakshi Says:

    Do you remember how Test match cricket is played or should we send you a copy of the rulebook?

  13. ERR Says:

    We must realise we won against all kinds of odds in 1983 and 2007 and hence a fluke which cannot be repeated ever! The next one will happen again sometime in 2030 whwn Sachin will lead India to victory!Thanks for losing Dhoni, otherwise National TV would have served stale nonstop breakfast-lunch- dinner on our win ad nauseum.

  14. Rama Says:

    Dhoni, Do you visit Churumuri site?

  15. prasad Says:

    Can we ask our Cricketers to declare their and their family’s assets before the start of every cricket season and then compare it to their performance.

  16. Santhosh Says:

    @Prasad – Did you furnish your assets before you joined your work & was it ever compared to your performance??? Stop being jealous of successful sportsmen!!! True, it was baffling to see Jaddu before yuvi.. but still… come on, grow up!!!

  17. Gaby Says:

    No short query but 16 naughty lines reassuring Dhoni that all the pretty girls will still love him and want him!

    Come all ye fair young maidens and harken unto me,Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
    Randier than a sailor who’s been six months at sea, Never let a cricketer’s hand an inch above your knee.
    First let’s take the paceman, pure speed from first to last, My darlings do be careful; his balls are hard and fast.
    Then there’s the medium pacer, his balls swing either way, He’s really most persistent and can keep it up all day!
    And watch for the off-spinner, girls, another awkward chap, If you leave him half an opening, he will slip one through the gap!
    Then there’s the wily ‘slowy’, pure cunning is his strength; He’ll tempt you, then trap you, with his very subtle length.
    So ladies, do be careful, your mothers would agree, Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
    And what about the opening bat, his struggles never cease! He has only one ambition, to spend all day at the crease.
    The number three is a dasher, he seldom prods and pokes. When he goes into action, he has a fine array of strokes..
    And do beware the slogger, not content with one or two; When he arrives at the crease then only six will do.
    Then there’s the real stonewaller, girls, he knows what he’s about; And if you let him settle in, it’s hard to get him out!
    We come now to the last man, I hope this will not shock, He doesn’t mind if he’s last man in, as long as he gets a knock.
    So, darlings, do be careful, and be well warned by me: Never trust a cricketer, whoever he may be.
    And watch the wicketkeeper girls, he’s full of flair and dash; And if you raise your heel, he’ll whip them off in a flash.
    If you take the field with the captain, you had better know the score; Or he’ll have you in positions that you never knew before!
    So, darlings, please remember and repeat it after me: NEVER TRUST A CRICKETER, WHOEVER HE MAY BE!!

  18. Black Sabbath Says:

    Thanks for the entertainment. Whatever happens, we will love you guys and are with you.

  19. Anonymous Guy Says:

    Dhoni,

    Which product, that you endorse, contributed the most to your failure?

  20. rowdyranga Says:

    How come no one is blaming the BCCI. well if some one to blame its the BCCI. they messed it up big time dude. if i were to be playing the IPL and then play T20 WC i would like to pass after a month long overhaul.

  21. Simple Says:

    Will the brands which you endorse see a decline in sales?

  22. Doddi Buddi Says:

    Gaby!

    A brilliant poem! Copyright it quick!

  23. Dhoni Himself Says:

    Don’t I have a right to earn a few bucks?

  24. rakeshgowda Says:

    @ DHONI

    Why wasnt Yusuf Pathan played as an opening batsman?

    Why wasnt he asked to bowl?

    Why wasnt Yuvraj played b4 Jadeja?

    What is your Swiss Bank Account number?

  25. Bangalore raja Says:

    Its a shame that yo can not bring back your old six hitting abilities for atleast for an over to see India through .what are you there fro in the team .We ahve better wicket keepers than you. You are there in the team for all abour abilities included.
    Its a shame man that you cannnot remember your old game

  26. Hari Says:

    Is this some national disaster? A game was lost and that’s it. Stop behaving like our neighbouring country where the Senate investigates every lost cricket match!!

  27. Jammy Says:

    Have you now at least realised that a combination of the experienced and young guns is essential? Dhoni, your theory of ‘young India’ bombed big time. Didnt you take a leaf out of the IPL team (For ex: A wonderful mix of young and experienced as in Bangalore team )?

  28. rakeshgowda Says:

    @dhoni

    Did the fight with Veeru leave bruises on your body?

  29. Simple Says:

    Gaby Dude/Dudette

    That was hilarious.

  30. Rukmini Says:

    If we had sent more teams from India like England, Ireland and Scotland atleast one or the other would have reached semis. It is unfortunate we have to settle for just a single team for 120 Crore population

  31. Gaby Says:

    Thanks Simple anna. The rhyme is an old one of unknown authorship. The sentiments match mine. Honestly why should Dhoni be worried at all by silly questions when he is young, healthy successful, sexy and has the best still ahead of him!

  32. Vishal Says:

    Gaby,

    Hilarious poem – which one do you fancy? :)
    Let many more come.

  33. Simple Says:

    Gaby Dude/Dudette

    That rhyme is of unknown authorship? Oh, it’s so disappointing. I really thought it was yours. I’d become a fan of yours. Lol.

    At least you were honest in confessing that the poem was not yours.

    I like that.

  34. Gaby Says:

    Simple Anna :(

    Vishal darling- I thought it was obvious- the captain of course :)

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