REVEALED: The Yeddy-Reddy secret formula*

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN writes: The political imbroglio involving Yeddy (single) and Reddy (triple), which looked like a mathematical indeterminate just a few days ago, has been solved.

After all.

This is  not because the central leadership of the BJP exercised their power and stood up tall to quell the rebellion, not because the chief minister stooped lower and lower to accommodate the major wishes of the Miner Bothers, but because of the acceptance of all the necessary and sufficient conditions imposed by them.

We know only a few of the conditions which were discussed in the open—like Shobha Karandlaje and V.P. Baligar—but the full text of the N & S conditions were found in a chit near the resort in Hyderabad.

A BJP observer hovering near the airport area found the all-revealing chit, the size of a gutka paper, which gave the  pointwise items agreed upon between the chief minister (also referred to as Kamsa) and Janardhana Reddy (alias Krishna).

The Brothers feel the conditions will usher in Rama Rajya again and the ‘new golden’ period will be better than the one during Krishna Devaraya.

The conditions as mentioned in the soiled chit now agreed, approved and soon–to–be-promulgated are as under:

1. Bellary will be the new IT (Information Technology) capital of Karnataka. All the major IT offices will immediately move their offices to Bellary. The entire cost of new offices, shifting etc will be met by the triumvirate.

2. Consequently, the existing IT (income tax) department will be shifted out of Bellary preferably out of Karnataka.

3. US President Barack Obama should be instructed to use phrase such as ‘Bellaried’ rather than ‘Bangalored’.

4. Vidhana Soudha will be shifted to Bellary stone-by-stone. The entire cost will be borne by the trio.

5. Dasara will be shifted to Bellary from Mysore. The elephants will be airlifted from Nagarahole direct to the site. Jamboosavari and torchlight parade will be celebrated in a new stadium with a capacity of 1,00,000, construction of which will start next week.

6. Each MLA in Karnataka should have his/ her own helicopter given the pathetic state of roads that the legislators have lorded over in the last 60 years, to speedily attend to flood/ drought relief work.

7. The MLAs need not depend on the State exchequer for their salary or local area development funds. They can keep the same as pocket money. Arrangements have already been made to have their new salary, of undisclosed amount, to them in person.

8. The metro work underway in Bangalore should be suspended and shifted to Bangalore piece by piece.

9. Bellary is to will have an international Reddy Airport like Kennedy Airport. It will be funded privately.

The Bellary Brothers also had a few conditions for the central leadership.

1.  Sushma Swaraj, whom they hold in high esteem like their mother, should immediately take over as BJP President. She will be referred to as ‘Ma Sush Swaraj’ by one and all.

2.  Advaniji, who is like Bhishma Pitamaha, will advise Ma Sush Swaraj about affairs of State, if and when asked.

3.  Advaniji will be provided with a Hummer, converted into a chariot, so that he can often go on his Bharath Rath Yatra.  Rajnath Singhji, the new Vidura, will stay put in Delhi.

4.  Arun Jaitley, the new Dronacharya, will be made the new BCCI and IPL Chief so that he doesn’t have to bother about Karnataka any more.

*Tongue in cheek, conditions apply

Tags: Arun Jaitley, B.S. Yediyurappa, Bhishma, Churumuri, Dronacharya, Janardhana Reddy, John F Kennedy, L.K. Advani, Rama Rajya, Sans Serif, Shobha Karandlaje, Sushma Swaraj, Yeddy