(HEART) BREAKING NEWS: ADVANI SWORN IN

Al Gore is “the former next president of the United States”, and he says so himself, tongue firmly in giant cheek. After the 2009 general elections, Lalchand Kishinchand Advani is clearly “the former future prime minister of India“, except that no one in his party, least of all Advani, has the sense, humour or the sense of humour to say that.

On his newly launched spoof site, Noise of India, Mysorean GAUTAMA P. fills this vital hole in the democratic discourse, with a item designed to make all those who mourn this cruel twist of fate feel good, at least in cyberspace.

***

“Ad-vani, the most clicked online Ad in Indian political history, was formally sworn in as India’s online PM on an undisclosed Google server. The ceremony was witnessed by hundreds of online ads including Jet Airways, bharat matrimony and Dominos Pizza.

“Security was tight, and all the ads had to pass through a firewall before being ushered into the RAM area. The installation went off smoothly, despite some angry heckling by the RAM’s step-motherboard and Dravidian parties raking up the south-bridge issue.

“Later, addressing a gathering of RSS feeds, Ad-vani vowed to focus on core ideological issues like Bangladeshi spam and bovine intercourse on the Discovery channel. He noted that the party was currently going through its worst phase of Rahul-kala.

“Next, logging on to Facebook, he lustily superpoked Manmohan Singh and invited him to a game of pseudo-ku. He ignored Uma Bharati‘s friend request and banged his head on Sudheendra Kulkarni‘s wall. On Orkut he deleted Varun Gandhi‘s scraps and posted a video of him deleting Varun Gandhi’s scraps. Finally, sensing the restlessness of the youth, he tweeted: “from now on, no more Mandir, only Mandira.”

Visit the site: Noise of India

Photograph: courtesy The Associated Press

Also read: ‘The only person to blame for BJP loss is Advani’

Defeat of BJP is a defeat of BJP brand of journalism

Even a paper tiger roars when ship starts leaking

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23 Responses to “(HEART) BREAKING NEWS: ADVANI SWORN IN”

  1. vinay Says:

    its not a spoof …its really noise , couldnt quite finish it

  2. Vishwas Krishna Says:

    ‘Ad-Vani’, ha ha ha. And top media anchors to be auctioned! Too good. I hope they are auctioned, no one would buy for sure! If the website is updated regularly, it would be much better.

  3. tarlesubba Says:

    way to go goutham.

  4. huttadallihutta Says:

    I mean, is this the depth to which you can reach? Or is there still way down to go?

    Man to man, experience to experience, Advani is any day better than this joker we have as a prime minister. More of a rubber stamp than a PM. Have you seen the way his Super PM had to rescue him after the fiasco with the joint declaration with Pak??? And without the Super PM this man is a big zero. ZERO, as you know, is our contribution to the world and are we to be proud of this ZERO?

    It is pure luck and destiny which has put these men in the positions they are in. Ill luck for Advani and good luck for Manmohan. And as they say, luck at times, favours the undeserving. And this is one such case…

    Isnt it surprising that Churumuri has time to publish this while forgetting to mention:

    1. NHRC’s clean chit to Police in the Batla house encounter??

    2. The stupidity of joint declaration with Pakistan and the result of it??

    3. The ineffectiveness of this government to arrest price rise in essential commodities like pulses, rice etc.?

    4. The followup to the promise made by this “super intelligent” PM that he will clean up the financial mess in 100 days since coming to power?? Its more than 70 days now that this joker is in power and we dont see any action being taken on this front???

    No Sir… churumuri has no time for real journalism. They write what they get paid for by their masters. And why blame them? Isnt all media today like this??

  5. Not A Witty Nick Says:

    You ignored the real treat on that page! The description of celebrity news anchors!

  6. Hari Says:

    Huttadallihutta, don’t be so offended. The BJP is equally ham handed and LKA (so called Loh Purush of Kandahar capitulation fame) would have done no better.

  7. Prashant Krishnamurthy Says:

    I suppose nothing more needs to be said when a screename reads “huttadallihutta”.

    The piece is tagged under the “tongue in cheek” category. The site referred to is termed a “spoof” site. But heavens, no, “huttadallihutta” can’t stomach it. Superstrong Advani got his message in the elections that it doesn’t pay electorally to term people “weak”, “strong”, “nikkamma”, etc. Sadly, that message hasn’t reached our resident fool (see how that hurts) who insists on calling the prime minister a “joker”.

    If you and your ilk can’t take a joke “huttadallihutta”, get out of the “huttha”.

  8. Watching Says:

    Huttadallihutta, I can empathise with your angst. You see when we get angry about Advani and his ilk being “spoofed” at because, really, the same treatment somehow escapes “the above and the beyond”, I just feel we are wasting our breath.

    To be fair to Advani, he tried his level best to be a hero to the “Prashant Krishnamurtys” of the world. Advani and his ilk did not mind kicking fellows like you and I in the teeth to achieve their great aim.

    Little did this little yellow party realise that snakes make friends with only their kind.

    So his project to appease the PKs failed and now the PKs laugh and spit at his efforts. Why should you and I get in the way of it’s trajectory? Advani’s finally a part of what he always desired. Him and the PKs go so well together, spit notwithstanding.

  9. D P SATISH Says:

    Hilarious! He writes so well.

  10. Anonymous Guy Says:

    Funny. Especially the cheddi reactions.

  11. Prasad Says:

    BJP biter again. Is it that all that the Congress does is Gold. See our foreign policy on Pak, our Nuke deal, Delhi metro, the Sub deal all a flop and questionable. When ever they the Congress go wrong they show their finger to the past saying that it happened in the BJP rule also. The Congress was voted to power so that such things are not repeated. Who cares! The Congress is more patriotic than any body in India. Maya is said to have made structures of elephant and hers but the Congress names all roads, structures, schemes in their family name, is this OK?
    Goutam a similar article on Sonia, Manamohan, will be welcome!

  12. Hiker Says:

    @Prashant Krishnamurthy,
    “Superstrong Advani got his message in the elections that it doesn’t pay electorally to term people “weak”, “strong”, “nikkamma”, etc.”

    Just like the inner voice got the message that it does not pay electorally to term people “maut ka saudagar” right?

    btw, nice writing by Gautama P

  13. Cool Dude Says:

    Advani is a joker who lost, MMS is the joker who won! thats it :-).

  14. Watching Says:

    AG, matadakBarde muti sotta madKondu odHogodu sulubha. Alva?

  15. phuttadalliphutta Says:

    Come on Churumuri! Don’t be bogged down by these Hutta or Phutta etc. Fascists are never made of real human stuff but greed and rabies.

    I loved your parody. Would love to see more and more like it. Fascists have ruined this country and need to be exposed in any manner.

    Best wishes!
    Just update posts and we’ll post them on twitter etc.

  16. Watching Says:

    Ya. We are all against the fascists are we not?

  17. phuttadalliphutta Says:

    I see very little or almost no centrists/anti-fascists on internet discussion forums and forums like twitter etc where these fascists are having a field day and nobody there to counter them. Level headed people needed to join these forums to save this country from Manuwadi fascists.

  18. Watching Says:

    Ya. Your head seems pretty levelled, is it not?

  19. huttadallihutta Says:

    Like the level headed people who cant even think of a name????

    The hall mark of an intellectually bankrupt person is to sweep the arguments made by another as rightists/manuwadi etc.

  20. TKM Says:

    huttadallihutta,
    Is calling some one joker in order? But when others use words like rightist and manuwadi should one get offended.That is the joke.

  21. Anonymous Guy Says:

    phuttadalliphutta,

    These forums dont matter in spite of the wet dreams of cheddiwallahs to take over the country from the internet forums.

    But that was only a theory.

    If anything they make bigger jackasses of themselves on the forums by trying to show the few Indians who browse the internet closer links between organizations like Ram Sene and VHP and the BJP (which may or may not exist in reality).

    Anyway the voting public showed them the truth in the last elections :)

  22. Watching Says:

    AG, the voting public always shows everybody the truth. Don’t they?

    But I like the fact that you make common cause with a pnaxal. That’s something the voting public will take to task yet.

  23. When killing becomes the motive and motivation | Democracy Of India Says:

    […] an infantile leadership commandeered by the “former future prime minister of India“, Lalchand Kishinchand Advani, cancels a luncheon appointment with the prime minister, couching […]

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