What Obama missed by not coming to Bangalore

PRASHANT KRISHNAMURTHY writes from Bangalore: Looking at the wide-eyed, over-the-top coverage of US president Barack Obama‘s 100% sanitised weekend break to Bombay and Delhi,  you can only wonder what he and Michelle are missing by not coming to namma Bengalooru.

***

1) By not coming to Bangalore and meeting B.S. Yediyurappa, Barackappa, whose Democratic party has suffered a drubbing, has missed picking up a lesson (or 11) in political management.

2) By not coming to Bangalore and meeting the Reddy brothersulu, brother Barack has lost a manch powerful chance to know that all trade barriers can be easily surmounted by simply shifting the borders.

3) By not coming to Bangalore and meeting the geniushris behind ‘Operation Lotus‘, Barackshri will go back without the wisdom that that what he really needs to shore himself up is ‘Operation POTUS ‘.

4) By not coming to Bangalore, Barackgaaru won’t know that the Rs 900 crore per day bill he is running up during his visit, would have easily fetched the loyalty of a couple of dozen MLAs for three months.

5) By not coming to Bangalore and filling up at Deve Gowda petrol bunk, Barackgowdru won’t that there others like his pal, Rahm Emmanuel, who break into expletives at the break of dawn.

6) By not coming to Bangalore, Barackopal will understand that the government of Karnataka gives away Rajyotsava awards even more whimsically than the Alfred Nobel foundation did two years ago.

7) By not coming to Bangalore and being interviewed by Ranganath Bharadwaj, Barackwaj won’t know that the biggest existential question on 24×7 Kannada news television is, “yaake antha” (why).

8) By not coming to Bangalore, Rockline Barack won’t know that Jackie, Tsunami, Y2K, Excuse Me, Psycho et al are actually titles of films in the language of the locals.

9) By not coming to Bangalore, change agent Barackaiah won’t know that BMTC conductors have always insisted on “change you believe in” before you board the bus.

10) By not coming to Bangalore, Barackanna has lost a golden chance to know that our darshinis serve better bisi bele bath than Bukhara. And that there is a resort near Yelahanka called The White House.

11) By not coming to Bangalore while worrying about jobs in Buffalo being “Bangalored”, namma Baracku won’t know that the jobs are actually being “Bengalurued”, thanks to U.R. Anantha Murthy.

12) And by not coming to Bangalore, Michelamma won’t know that for all our outsourcing prowess, pakkada mane Parvathamma still cannot find a maid when she wants one.

What other local specialities do you think Mr and Mrs O are missing by not coming?

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15 Responses to “What Obama missed by not coming to Bangalore”

  1. Ramesh Raghuvanshi Says:

    Obama did not want to see cybercoolies in Banlore who are working on tinny wages .compared to unskilled workers of U.S.In America unskilled worker get 8$ per hour.In India skilled worker just like software Engineer earned 7$ hour.
    Obama came to India to persuade Indians please do drink more Coca Cola Pepsi Eat more junk food from Macdonall , watch more hollywood moves. He came here to sell junk nuclear machinery,and many many junk goods of America.He know India have biggest craze for American goods, Indians are by nature soft people very easily persuaded.Indians are credulous people.and bow before white people. Why Indian Prime Minister breaking all protocol received him on airport?You people of Banglore donot live in illusion American knew your eligibility you are coolies working for them.

  2. Andy Says:

    Disappointing stuff by Prashanth..

  3. Goldstar Says:

    Bangalore Traffic Jams caused by buffalos and people with brains of a buffalo!!

  4. Shetty Says:

    Wonder how many folks in India are aware that the current Indian PM’s daughter, a US educated lawyer is safely and securely settled in the US!
    Well, even otherwise, it is a tradition in India to lick-up US politicians and business men…especially among the Cong-I croonies.

    No wonder, while there is so much hype in the media on a mere one-way business oriented visit by a US President who appears on steep the way down in local polls.

    It is rather not a surprise that in India, there is no mention or any demand for the extradition of former Union Carbide CEO Warren Anderson, while everyone is aware of the billions paid out for a single oil well disaster in the US.

  5. Somebody Says:

    How to cut all the trees in every vicinity for road widening and still manage to have huge traffic jams, how to drive on foot paths, how to build fly overs where not required and build flyovers where required and yet again manage to have daily traffic jams, how to live happily in a total mess from top to bottom ……..

  6. Ananth Says:

    Stale!

  7. Snehalatha Naidu Says:

    By not coming to Bengaluru Barack Obama will never learn the cryptic “Swalpa Adjust Madi”!

  8. sonybhatt Says:

    … due to Political Instability in the state

  9. DailyBread Says:

    Ramesh Raghuvanshi,

    Hope you had a safe Deepavali. Why are you mitti me milaoing Rahuvansh’s goodname.

    >You people of Banglore donot live in illusion American knew your eligibility you are coolies working for them.

    As an erstwhile coolie I proteshttt……

    >compared to unskilled workers of U.S.In America unskilled worker get 8$ per hour.In India skilled worker just like software Engineer earned 7$ hour

    Are you getting paid American wages in India? If you have bunked Economics classes from sage Vishwamitra you should grab a copy of Wealth of Nations……

  10. Tarlemaga Says:

    What Bangalore Missed by Obama not coming to Bangalore ?

    The real estate sharks,developers,contractors,mafia and Politicians would have gone overboard speculating the price and making profits.

    The IT/BT and Real estate combine cartel is hurting the country very badly.

    It is time India focuses on agriculture and does less of IT.

    We have farmer’s committing suicide because they are not able to pay up the loans. We have IT/BT employees indulging in Domestic violence and third degree crimes because they have too much of money.

    It is an irony that this is being overlooked by our policy makers.

  11. H.R.Bapu Satyanarayana Says:

    He only proved the point that what made him win was his rhetoric and in his speech he said all the agreeable things that people wanted to hear and his comment that India is ‘not the only emerging country’ should be sobering reminder that India need not be overwhelmed by his praise and with the Congress in the saddle India will always be a faithful ally. In fact back home his popularity has taken a beating and it will not be a surprise if he becomes an one time wonder for he has no chance of being elected again in 2012 for disillusion is setting fast and with FOX News being active he has no ghost of a chance of being reelected.

  12. copernicus Says:

    Young women beaten up and burnt by in-laws as their parents are unable to buy Mercedes cars. 7 IT coolies deployed for the salary of 1 US programmer, and the drinks they wash down would feed 7 families a day in the slums of Yeshwantpur. Obama would not have seen Infosys Murthy’s son doing the IT coolie work , but he is safe back home in Harvard enjoying his rich life.

    He knows that stupid Indians would lap it up when he mentions permanent UNSC seat. Indeed every Western leader is advised by their advisers to say this when visiting India, knowing how stupid Indians can be by lapping it up not realising UN is a talk shop, and US did not support the UN secretary generalship of that arrogant Malayalee who recently resigned as a minister.

    In 1950s, India was a nation which could demand respect because of its recent association with Gandhi. It had high moral ground to stand on despite Nehru’s dalliance with dictators like Nasser and Tito and his stupid non-alignment policy which did not criticise Soviet Union.

    India has travelled a long way soaking the filth of corruption and moral depravity. Forget IT coolies , UN seat, and going to the moon. If ever it is going to be respected, it should cleanse the politics and greed of sections of people, and try to go back to ethos that the ancient culture of Karnataka that was embedded in its people until 1950, which means supporting its poor, giving to them and making poor valuable. It will not happen.

  13. rk Says:

    On point #4, is that really true or are you perpetuating some myth started by a stupid Indian politician?!

  14. A Krishna Says:

    Ha ha, superb post by Prashanth! Really funny and inspired. Keep it up!

  15. Ramesh Raghuvanshi Says:

    Hello,DailyBead,
    You are so upset reading my comment that means I wrote truth.Is India did bit of progress in hardware?What we are exporting in another countries?Can you tell one item?In colonial time we are exporting collies to other countries as a bonded labours. Now we are working as a cybercoolis for western countries

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