Good morning, here’s the news you didn’t hear

E.R. RAMACHANDRAN says: Hello and welcome to ‘Corruption Matters! Channel’.

Here’s the news read by Ghoos Bhai Ghoos.

First, the headlines:

# The telecom scandal of Rs 175,000 crore has now crossed Rs 575,000 crore.

# Bangaloreans will have to vacate their homes as the entire City will be denotified.

# India has requested Commonwealth countries to award CWG on a permanent basis to Delhi.

# ‘Parama Adarsh’ complex is to come up opposite Parliament House for freedom fighters.

# And, as usual, sports, business and weather.

Now, the news in detail:

# Reliable sources have told CM!C that the 2G spectrum allocation scam involving A. Raja has swelled to Rs 575,000 crore thanks to the disruptions and non-functioning of Parliament over the last 15 days. The figure, computed and released by CAG last night, was immediately disputed by the national council for unclean public life (NCUPL).

NCUPL feels various ministries and departments have colluded with DoT and TRAI to present a “less than accurate” picture. NCPL estimates the figure should be more than Rs 875,000 crore. Going by the now accepted worldwide industry norms (one spectrum Raja = Rs 175,000 crore), this works to more than 7 spectrum Rajas.

# Moving on, at the rate at which way Bangalore is being denotified, most citizens, except Cabinet ministers and their near and nearer ones, will have to leave the City soon.

The move will affect the IT industry and the Bangalore international airport in particular. The denotification ministry of Karnataka government (DEMI-K) has already issued notices to IT companies to vacate their land. The BIAL will be shortly moving across to Hosur in Tamil Nadu to fly their planes.

Meanwhile, some well-known ministers along with hitherto unheard-of mining companies have floated a joint sector company, ‘Just Grab’, to arrange to and fro transport to passengers at ‘Hosur Kalaignar Airport.’ Passengers will have the choice of air-taxi, air-bus, plain bus to reach airport arranged by JG.

It’s reliably learnt JG has applied for a loan for Rs 500 crore for this project which was sanctioned last month itself. Cheques have already been deposited in specific accounts to speed up matters. This project was cleared with no windows but only a small hole under the table but big enough to push a hand through.

# Commonwealth countries are said to be reacting positively to India plea that all future games, including the opening and closing ceremonies, be held in Delhi. This which will keep the chairman of the organizing committee and various agencies such as NDMC, CPWD, Delhi Metro etc fully occupied till kingdom come.

Your channel has learnt that IOA has specifically requested permission to organize each and every “Queen’s baton exchange programme” as it has acquired sufficient expertise in handling procurement of queen-size toilet papers,  umbrellas and organizing  taxi–service .

# Good news for freedom fighters across the country. A new complex, Parama Adarsh, is being planned bang opposite Parliament House in Delhi  A 62- storey building comprising 552 flats, malls, swimmimg pools, seminar hall, spa, yoga and astrology centres, and tennis courts will come up in the sprawling complex to commemorate 62 years of freedom.

The complex will be built by a conglomerate of builders who will raise loan from LIC housing finance for Rs 1,000 crore. Earnest efforts are underway to trace the freedom fighters.

# And in sports. In a surprise move, both IOA and BCCI have come together. The IOA which has enormous experience in organizing CWG will join hands with BCCI in organizing future auctions to select IPL Teams. IOA will also handle publicity in print and electronic media, Bollywood, fashion shows, etc, for BCCI.

And finally, business news and the weather.

The rupee held its own against the onslaught of brokers trying to sell benami sites, and to form quick and fictitious joint-ownership companies.

The weather continues to be bright and cheerful all over India for denotification, housing allotment, housing loan, telecom allocation, and other scams.

We will be back with more news in an hour, or as and when it breaks.

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7 Responses to “Good morning, here’s the news you didn’t hear”

  1. twistleton Says:

    There HAS to be a positive in all of this, how come we can’t outsmart terrorists and the like with such ridiculous ease? It is just a matter of Raja will. :)

  2. ramesh Says:

    superb ..

  3. Suneel Sardana Says:

    If CONGRESS,DMK & other supporters of UPA & all opposition parties have still any doubt about the amount of 2G scam, why dont they accept my humble offer which was made on behalf of renowned multinational telecom operator which I once again repeat & reconfirm as under
    “LET GOVT.OF INDIA CANCELL ALL 2 G LICENCES & PROVIDE ALL INDIA OPERATION LICENCE TO MY NOMINEE,WHO ARE PREPARED TO PAY RUPEES TWO LAKHS CRORES.”
    With such an amount,Govt may refund the licence fee so received & after refunding licence fees from existing 2G operators,Govt.is left with such a huge amount that this surplus & additional revenue can provide FREE DRINKING WATER & SEWERAGE FASCILITIES to all poors,villegers & all others,who dont have these necessities at their reach & disposal without any burden on Govt.exchequer. What else Govt,Nation & opposition parties want ?

  4. H.R.Bappu Satyanarayana Says:

    Simply hilarious

  5. Narayana Says:

    Suneel,

    Your offer is good. But I did not like refund part. Because it does not punish the corrupt businesses. I would use some part of 2 lak crores your nominee would give to run litigations against 2G companies to bankrupt them to stoneage!!!

  6. Shetty Says:

    Bookanakere Siddalingappa Yeddyurappa conferred the ‘Bharat Ratna’, in recognition of ‘public service of the highest order’ by the Indian President Pratibha Patil.

    In his thanks giving speech, Yeddi thanks everyone from Sai Baba to Balagangadharanatha Swamiji to his crooked peers in BJP high Command and close family members to his shameless cronies and most friendly Cong-I opposition leaders for having finally ‘recognized’ the best ‘Thief Minister’ kannadigas have ever had in their lifetime!

  7. Ramachandra Swami Says:

    Thanks to the various beliefs of Yeddyurappa, the business of Astrology has been booming in Karnataka state. Right from 1965 when Yeddyurappa was a clerk at Veerabhadra Shastri’s Shankar rice-mill at Shikaripur until the 80’s when his wife Mythradevi, mysteriously disappeared under a water tank within his home, the hardworking BJP party worker has sought the blessings of every other astrologer and almost every major temple in the sate and elsewhere, including Taliparamba in Kerala, Thirupathi and Viashno Devi in Jammu. And in the process he and his sons, daughter and son-in-law (apart from fellow party workers and friendly Cong-I leaders) have all been rewarded handsomely.

    Bhanuprakash Sharma, chief minister’s family priest and permanent, official astrologer, has now predicted that Yeddyurappa will soon be voluntarily replaced by his son, MP and ‘noted’ real estate agent, BS Raghavendra.

    Commenting on the major development, ISN Prasad, principal secretary to the chief minister said “The CM has had a hectic lifestyle all these years. He now needs to take rest and enjoy a double scotch while laughing it out at the Gowda losers”. He added “Shobha and Yeddyurappa together sought advice of astrologers including Sharma through astamangala prashne. Both of them were reminded the need to take care of their own family fortunes before retirement in bliss. Yeddyurappa decided to gift all his additional multi-crore benami assets equally to all his children while Shobha decided to retain her 200 acre, premium coffee estate in Coorg as well as all her impressive collection of Gold, Diamonds, BDA-MUDHA corner sites, Stock Holdings and benanmi companies”

    It has been reported that Bhanuprakash Sharma has also advised Yeddyurappa to use the state Govt Helicopter to make monthly visits to Thirupathi and pay obeisance to Varaha Swamy: the God of land, to ward off the evils that caused unbelievably corrupt and illegal land-related controversies and disputes. In addition to this, Shobha and the entire will accompany the CM on a pilgrimage to Viashno Devi, perform Pooja after VVIP darshan at the famed Rajarajeswara temple at Taliparamba

    Ina related development, thanks to the successful experiment in Karnataka, the Congress and BJP have now ‘officially come into a tacit understanding nationwide’ and as a give-and-take policy, BJP will tone down its pseudo noise on the 2G, CWG loot, Adarsh and other Cong-I Scams, while the Congress has agreed not to embarrass BJP over equally shameless corruption. Suvarna News 24/7 reports that since no one respects BJP fixer Venkaiah Naidu anymore, Gujarat CM Narendra Modi is understood to have put a word to Ahmed Patel, political secretary to Congress president and the unofficial Queen of India, Sonia Gandhi, who is from his home state, on behalf of Yeddyurappa and senior BJP leaders.

    A senior journalist and practicing astrologer, who has been privy to such developments, now predicts a total washout for the BJP in the upcoming elections and a commanding majority to the JD-S in Karnataka.

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